Would you be surprised if I told you that Kyle and I fight more when we’re traveling than when we’re home?
It’s true. We fight a lot on the road.
It’s always something simple and petty that gets blown out of proportion due to the overwhelm of long term travel.
Stupid. Like where do we go next? What do we eat for dinner? What time should we leave?
I wanted to write this article to show you that yes – we argue and we know how to navigate it.
Before, we dive into how to avoid arguments and how to deal with them when you do. Let’s first say that traveling doesn’t fix your relationship.
It’ll probably test your fragile relationship.
Although the travel couple’s goals look nice on Instagram, it’s not realistic.
That’s not to say that baecations can be romantic and the best type of travel.
Of course, Kyle is my favorite travel partner. We going to the edge of the world and back.
But, we fight.
Let’s get into how we deal with it and what causes majority of our arguments.
How to Avoid Arguments
I just spent the previous telling you that arguments are ok and a part of couples travel.
This section will hopefully help you have less petty disagreements about nothing important.
Befoe you leave the house agree on the major things that will happen during the trip. Do you want to relax while you partner wants adventure? Does you partner want an all inclusive resort on the beachor do you want an airbnb in a local neighborhood
No, seriously. Most of the arguments Kyle and I have are because we’re hungry. I don’t know about you but I get very hangry when I have to make a lot of decisions on an empty stomach.
Get Enough Sleep.
Tired = increased bickering. It’s science (maybe). I know Kyle and I are both more irritable when we’re sleepy. If you know you are jet-lagged, remove all major decisions. For example, if you are skipping several time zones and have a flight longer than 6 hours, consider pre-booking transport to the hotel. That way you don’t have to be frustrated when taxi drivers
hustle approach you for a ride.
Reduce Stress and Stressful situations.
Similarly, try to avoid stressful situations. It’s easy to get snappy when you’re about to miss your flight. Or you’re lost because you decided to drive yourself around a foreign city.
Sometime you wont agree and that’s ok. Rather than make every little thing an argument, consider compromising. Kyle and I have a rule. If there is something that one of us really really really wants to do, the other with automatically do it. I enjoy seeing and being a part of an experience he is really passionate about. I feel like we get to know each other better.
Or don’t compromise.
Rather than compromise and be miserable, consider doing separate activities. There’s nothing with alone time while on a baecation. For example, Kyle hates rollercoasters and is afraid of heights. While, I grew up going to Six Flags every day. When I want to visit roller coasters, I’ll go by myself.
How to Deal when fights arise
Inevitably, you will argue, bicker, or fight while traveling.
We’re often outside of our comfort zone when traveling and that can be scary. When we’re scared, we lash out.
Don’t be afraid to argue, it’s most likely a good sign. Early in our marriage, we would avoid fighting. Which meant, we both had all of this pent up aggression that was tearing us up.
Keeping the peace when you’re upset, really doesn’t help anyone.
Keeping the peace when you're upset, really doesn't help anyone.
Be OK with being Wrong.
If you plan an activity that doesn’t go as planned, be Ok with being wrong. Traveling is about trying new things and new experiences. If something goes wrong (which it usually does), IT IS OK.
On the flip side, if your partner makes a mistake, extend then grace. This one, is usually easy in our relationship. When something goes wrong, I go straight into solution mode and try to fixed it. Don’t be too mean to your partner when they make a mistake. It could easily be your mistake next time.
Remember that you love each other.
Remember that you love each other- while arguing? Sounds contradictory. But if you remember that you love each other, it changes the fight. We focus on fighting the problem instead of attacking each other personally.
Move on quickly.
Don’t dwell on minor issues unless you want it to ruin the entire trip. I’ve fought with friends and group trips that completely ruined the trip (and friendship). With your spouse, it’s a little different. I think when traveling its important to move past it quickly and remember that you are on the same team.
Traveling pushed us out of our comfort zones. When we’re doing life with a partner, it’s guaranteed to be some conflict. That doesn’t tarnish the experience.
When navigating the complexities that arise, we can choose to be more mindful during arguments.